Oh hi there, welcome to my blog. It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Danielle and I’m a happily married 30-year-old mother of two. That’s what I am supposed to say right?
Marriage status, check. Age, check. Number of children, check. Wrong.
Do I have an amazing husband? Yes! Am I 30? Yes (and proud of it, quite frankly our 20’s are so overrated) Do I really have two children? I sure do, I’ll introduce them later. And now for the toughest question – am I happy? This is where I get stuck. If I say I am unhappy does it make me a bad wife? An unfit mother? Does it make me ungrateful for all the obvious blessings in my life? Surely millions of people have it worse off than I do.
The truth is that despite all the happiness my life brings me, I am not happy with myself. I would go so far as to say I never have been. I think that’s the first time I’ve said or rather written that word. Never. How does one live a third of their life without being happy in their own skin?
So who am I really? I’m a 30-year-old woman trapped in a grossly unhealthy body that holds me back from doing the things I want to do. From being the person I’m meant to be. I’m a 30-year-old woman suffering from a mental illness who drowns her sorrows in unhealthy foods and an even unhealthier lifestyle. I’m a mom of two young boys who can barely keep up with them. I am strong. I am determined. I am capable. I am committed to doing this once and for all. But what is “this?” Well, it’s my journey to a healthier life – body, mind and soul. I’m sure there will be a healthy mix of procrastination in here, hell I’ve had this blog ready to go for weeks before I could bring myself to hit the daunting publish button.
Marie Kondo has influenced a shit ton <insert a factual number here> of people around the world to declutter their lives with her book, the life-changing magic of tidying up. To get rid of physical things that don’t bring them joy. Yes she’s mostly talking about things around the home – old books, clothing, knick knacks etc. Sarah Knight did a Ted Talk and a complimentary book encouraging people to declutter their lives of the non-physical things in our lives holding us back. She calls it, the life-changing magic of not giving a f*ck. I used Marie Kondo’s reasoning to convince my husband I needed a new car as my minivan brought me no joy. Nope, none. But it’s Sarah Knight’s method that really struck home. After all, who doesn’t want to stop spending time we don’t have with people we don’t like doing things we don’t want to do. F*ck that. All kidding aside, I feel like both women’s philosophies are so linked to this perpetual journey of mine.
And perpetual it will be. This isn’t a quick fix. It’s not a one-time deal. It’s something I will have to work at for the rest of my life. And so it’s time to put my money where my mouth is. Because in the simplest of terms, I have too much to lose if I don’t. I have too much life left to live and I refuse to do it unhappily. I refuse to look back in 20 years and see the same person in the mirror. I refuse to be the mom sitting on the sidelines vs. the one running with her children at the park. I refuse to set the precedent for my boys that this is what healthy looks like.
I can’t promise this blog is what you are looking for. I can’t promise it will inspire you or motivate you. I can’t promise I’ll be successful in what I’m here to accomplish. What I can promise is that what you see [read] is what you get with me. The honest, sometimes scary, and completely vulnerable battle of losing weight & maintaining it with a mental illness. I promise this is real life. I promise to share the good, the bad, the ugly. This is my story, and welcome to it.