14 years, my love. That’s how long I’ve loved you. I want you to know that I see you. I really really see you. And I know I don’t always let you see me. Like, really see me.
There’s a lot of misperception when it comes to the word, crisis. I imagine some people envision it like a glass being knocked over and shattering on the floor into a million pieces. It’s obvious. It's loud. But that's not always case.
The past 75 days have been dark. I’ve been drowning. Unlike past storms, this one hasn’t cleared. 75 days ago an old friend of mine took his own life.
Sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken. Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open. Sometimes she's stone cold, at times she's on fire. Mostly, she's everything I desire.
This is just one of the things Plus sized people need to think/worry about. Not everything is designed for anyone who exceeds the average size. This includes movie theatre chairs, airplane seats, products with weight limitations (including rides) and just about anything that requires you to "fit" where someone smaller can.
You're not perfect and I know you've be the first to admit it. None of us are. But the lessons you've taught me and the strength you continue to exude have truly provided me with an exceptional life. I hope you know that.
Thirteen years creates a lot of memories. They play in my mind like a song you haven't heard in years but when it starts to play you know every word by heart. The lyrics tell the stories of love, heartache, tragedy, and miracles. And the rhythm keeps me moving in the darkest of times.