Sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken. Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open. Sometimes she's stone cold, at times she's on fire. Mostly, she's everything I desire.
This is just one of the things Plus sized people need to think/worry about. Not everything is designed for anyone who exceeds the average size. This includes movie theatre chairs, airplane seats, products with weight limitations (including rides) and just about anything that requires you to "fit" where someone smaller can.
You're not perfect and I know you've be the first to admit it. None of us are. But the lessons you've taught me and the strength you continue to exude have truly provided me with an exceptional life. I hope you know that.
Thirteen years creates a lot of memories. They play in my mind like a song you haven't heard in years but when it starts to play you know every word by heart. The lyrics tell the stories of love, heartache, tragedy, and miracles. And the rhythm keeps me moving in the darkest of times.
With the start of a New Year I can't help but wonder what projects will end up on my never-land list of near-completion. Perhaps I will see that loading bar reach it's final destination. Probably f*cking not.
So naturally, I did what anyone else who lost their initial 10 pounds would do. I crumbled under pressure and stopped doing anything all together. That's a normal thing to do right? Haha, f*ck. If you're new to my blog this isn't my first set back. It surely won't be my last. See, when you're an Anxiety Girl who also suffers from depression, and I am wholeheartedly an AG*, nothing is easy.
But here's the thing about my sister. She's a f*cking badass. If I had to name the one biggest thing she's taught me, it's resilience. It's how to keep going when you just want to die.
Feet on ground. Heart in hand. Facing forward, be yourself.
But the magic when girls and women come together and lift one another up is truly amazing. The strength of a group of women who stand tall together, not against one another, is what we should all strive to achieve.
So no, I'm not good, I really haven't been good for a long time. Hence this whole journey. This doesn't mean I don't have good moments, hours, even days. But smiling and saying I'm good is what has gotten me here, to begin with. And being so "busy" is what's allowed me to make excuses as to why I have no time to care for myself.