With the start of a New Year I can't help but wonder what projects will end up on my never-land list of near-completion. Perhaps I will see that loading bar reach it's final destination. Probably f*cking not.
So naturally, I did what anyone else who lost their initial 10 pounds would do. I crumbled under pressure and stopped doing anything all together. That's a normal thing to do right? Haha, f*ck. If you're new to my blog this isn't my first set back. It surely won't be my last. See, when you're an Anxiety Girl who also suffers from depression, and I am wholeheartedly an AG*, nothing is easy.
But here's the thing about my sister. She's a f*cking badass. If I had to name the one biggest thing she's taught me, it's resilience. It's how to keep going when you just want to die.
Feet on ground. Heart in hand. Facing forward, be yourself.
But the magic when girls and women come together and lift one another up is truly amazing. The strength of a group of women who stand tall together, not against one another, is what we should all strive to achieve.
So no, I'm not good, I really haven't been good for a long time. Hence this whole journey. This doesn't mean I don't have good moments, hours, even days. But smiling and saying I'm good is what has gotten me here, to begin with. And being so "busy" is what's allowed me to make excuses as to why I have no time to care for myself.
Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m a highly self-aware and emotional person. I love fiercely, trust blindly and consequently open my heart up to a world of pain. I feel every feeling there is in great magnitude and though some have told me it’s a great gift - it often feels like a curse.